News

12/20/02 You'l see some visual changes to the site in 2003, starting with this section. The very first post in 2003 for news will look a lot different than it does now. Time to do something different. I have about one more post before it gets busy and the new year is upon us. Until then ...
12/19/02 "Merry fucking Christmas, I hope my presents rock. 'Cause if they suck the big ass, I'll smack you with my cock" Happy Jewish holiday to you. Merry Christian holiday to you. Happy New Year unless you're Chinese. Enjoy your lives. We're living on borrowed time. The end of the world has come and gone. If the end is over, when will the new end be? What's a six-letter word combination that means to live for the day but rhymes with bucket? Exactly.
12/17/02 I'd like to give a shout out to my new friend, Melanie. What the fuck is up with your ass, Melanie? Shit dog! E-mail my ass soon and let me know what your bitch-ass is up to. Maybe we could get together and fuck or something? Don't worry, I won't cum in your mouth. Just tell me when and I'll pull out and just shoot it on your titties. Just a thought. Peace.
12/16/02 Well, I've done it. It took a while, but I did it. I received an e-mail from a Melanie Prichards regarding my site. She wrote a very short message to me and I will write it EXACTLY how it was written to me. Here it is.

To the owner of knutz.net,

I'm not sure how I got to your site, but I click on a link and there it was. I proceeded to go through some of the pages on your site and found language that was inappropriate and lude. This site is no better than a pornografic site. SIte like this should be banned from the internet. I hope I never run across this site again.

Wow. I sent Melanie a message, stating that I would not reply in an e-mail, but invited her to come to the site for my response. That way, you all can be a part of this wonderful experience. Here it is.

To Melanie Prichards,

I'm glad you stopped by knutz.net. I would apologize for the 'lude and inappropriate' content that you were referring to if I was actually sorry for it. But, I only apologize when I mean it and fuck if I'll apologize for speaking my mind on my site. That's like accusing someone of indescent exposure for being naked while taking a shit in their own bathroom and you're standing on their property, looking at them through their window. It's good ole fashioned bullshit. I do want to thank you for actually taking the time to write me a nasty-gram (I'm flattered), but you could've just hit the little "BACK" button on your browser if you didn't like what you saw. No one forced you to come to this site and no one said you had to stay. One more thing; Generally, pornographic sites have pictures of pussies, dicks, tits asses, people fucking, people sucking, ass poking, cum, squirting, sometimes shitting, sometimes pissing, a combination of these and then some. I have no pornographic pictures on this site. What some people consider lude, others might consider honest or real. What some people call sex or sexual behavior, others might call people eating each other's shit or sucking some cum off of a dick. Melanie, enjoy life with the blinders on.

P.S. If you are reading this, Melanie, per your last sentence; give up on hope because you ran across this site again.

And, friends, that's how I spent my Saturday night after watching the Scooby Doo movie.
12/15/02 Weird stuff going on. I recently received a Christmas card from an old high school buddy that I haven't talked to in at least 8 years. Then, I check my e-mail and have a new message from a buddy I haven't talked to in a few years. I'm just trippin' out. I also realized that my 10 year high school reunion is a few months away. Weird how that shit sneaks up on you. So, I began evaluating my last 10 years from high school. What did I do? School? No, not really. Some, but nothing to write home about. Friends? Yea, I still have contact with some friends. Life does get in the way though. I have a picture that was taken at my parents house the night of my graduation. There was a group of us, I think 7. Of those 7 people, I only talk to 1 on a regular basis and he didn't even go to school with me. One by one, the friends either moved away or slowly dropped out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind. So, I became a working class citizen. Life is what you make of it. I have no regrets to this point, as it should be. Regrets mean that you're living in the past. Learn from the past, but don't live in it because you'll miss now and won't realize it until it's past.

Glad I could help, John. And, People, that's what I'm here for. I WANT TO HELP. Why? Well, I've been there and found a way to pull myself through it. It worked so well, I just feel like it is my duty to spread the word. Josh Inya from Des Moines, IA had this to say; "I'm 45 years old and still living with my parents. I was getting tired of sitting around and being a bum. The last 2 months were the worst. I had seriously considered getting a job several times because I felt I needed a change. Then, I came across Nutz' Advise and decided to take it. So I took a break from thinking about getting a job. It really only took 3 days for me to realize that TV had warped my brain into thinking I had to work to earn a living and feel complete. To feel like a contributor to society. It's those fucking infomercials, I tell you. So now, it's no more infomercials. Just 24 hours of cartoons. I almost fuct up and looked for employment. Life as I know it would exist no more. I really believe the Nutz' Advise saved my life and the world."

Here's a few more quotes from some satisfied clients. "I had no time left to burn off at work. I took a week anyway. Now, I have no job and live in a dumpster. Thanks, Nutz." - Bob Nupindown, Sweetwater, MS "I took a week to get away during my marital problems. Now, my wife lives in our house with my best friend who happens have a bigger dick than me. I want to die." - Richard Smalls, Lake Flacid NY "Everyone has always called me a square. I took a week off and fucked every guy I saw. Now, I have an incurable disease where my pussy is rotting from the inside out. It's very painful and it will eventually kill me. Life couldn't be better." - Cher Myhole, Usedup, MD

I hope you can find this little column useful in your life someday. It's helped tens of singles so far. Try it. There's a 16% chance it'll help you. Thanks and Good Night.
08/11/02 I am now without a bass. A temporary set-back. We're getting down to the nitty gritty and it's getting exciting. I'm contemplating on whether to do a double CD or not. I guess you won't know until release time. Another set back is effects. Vocals ... well, everything is dry right now. I'm saving for that. I might sell a guitar or two for a bass and some effects. I might pimp my dog for a bottle of cheap wine and a rubber dick. So, I'm still recording like a mofo and fucking enjoying the sheit out of it. Life is grand.
08/01/02 Pink is my new obsession. Pink are the parts on your body that I want to touch(Hot women only). I must be getting old because my weenus is always sore and needs to be rubbed constantly.
07/21/02 Life is great. I've moved from recording to mixing ... for now. I'm a little burnt on the recording thing. I'm going in and pulling out all of the dead noise etc. Oh, shut the fuck up! So, the project is still coming along nicely. I'm to a point now where some of the material I've recorded will probably not make the final cut for the CD, but I will still finish recording all songs. All of this recording has warmed up my creative juices, so I've been writing new material that might actually make this CD. I've got 3 different songs I'm working on right now and I anticipate at least 2 will make the disc. Only time will tell. Well, so long for now. Peace, love, happiness and a good cock rub to you!
07/16/02 The solo project has taken me back. Back to the 1990's. How? I wrote a song back in 1995 that I wanted to record, but there was one part where I couldn't remember how it went exactly. Then I remembered that I had recorded this on a 4 track years ago. So, I dug out the box of tapes I had packed away, warmed up my cassette player (It's been a while) and started listening/digging. I found shit that I didn't know I had. My first band's very first recordings back in the spring of 1994, our first gig, a live performance on radio and the list goes on. It's truly amazing how something that happened so long ago can bring up so many memories and emotions. So, instead of gaining any real progress on the solo project, I reminisced. As far as the project is concerned, I've got about a half hour of material recorded thus far. It's getting there. Tonight, I worked on vocals and spent some time editing a song. I made some good progress. Tomorrow night, I'm going to record the guitars for the next song and then begin work on the drums for the next song. I just farted. So, by the end of this week, I hope to have 2 more songs ready to go. I don't know. I'm spending the weekend up in Phoenix this weekend, so if it doesn't get done by Thursday, it'll have to wait until next week. I like not being rushed for this. Talk to you soon, nogin-giver.
07/07/02 I've taken a brief break from recording and made some small changes to the site. Added stuff and re-arranged some stuff. Please let me know if there are any broken links. I will be back in a couple days to give another project update. I'll probably talk about farting too. Until then ...
07/05/02 A big update. First off, I hope your 4th of July was filled with Friends, Family and fun ... but no fire. In the case of the state of Arizona, no fireworks. It was weird, but fuck it. Butt fuck it. Now, on to the updates. Work's been hectic. Work's always hectic. So it goes. Keith and I are still looking for a bassist that isn't a flake. By flake, I mean isn't afraid to commit or can commit. By commit, I mean pay rent and be able to practice and play shows on a semi-regular schedule (practice 1-2 times a week and shows bi-monthly). So, the band scene is on hold. As far as the solo project, it's coming right along. I'm at 4 songs recorded and I'm programming the drums for 2 more songs to be recorded this weekend (hopefully). Having the ability to record at home and spend as much time on something as you want has got to be one of the coolest things I've done musically. No pressure in the studio to nail a part the first time because it's basically costing you $1 a minute to be there. I don't think the quality of my recording will be what I've done in the studio with past bands, but it'll be pretty damn close. The initial learning process of the equipment was very trying, but now, as I become more familiar with it, I'm spending less time trying to figure out how to use it and more time focusing on playing/programming/singing. I'm having the time of my life right now. I will hopefully be putting some mp3 samples on the site within the next month or so. All vocals are still dry and I have to get some effects on them before I give the public any kind of idea what this project is going to be like. If I finish the songs this weekend and 3 next week, I will be done recording 9 songs. It's getting there. I really can't believe it. I would like to have this out by October (my birthday present to myself), but I'm not going to rush it. If it's not ready, it won't be out. That's it for now. Talk to you soon.
06/20/02 I've been hard at work on the solo project. I will update again in early July when work isn't so hectic.
06/03/02 Once upon a time, the internet was born. It was slow at first, but technology soon prevailed and everyone was sharing information. Then greedy, money hungry internet assassins began password protecting the cool websites and the only way to get in was to pay. Many other sites followed suit. The internet was rapidly becoming pay-per-view. This is not the internet Al Gore had in mind when he dreamed it up. No good inside sports scoups, no good porn, no free info on my classmates, no exchanging music with my Colombian hombres. It will all be pay soon enough. The free sites are out there, but they are becoming more scarce. I think the best way to sum up this point is with a quote from one of our founding foreskinfathers, Benjamin Franklin, who I believe said it best when the lightning struck his kite 'Ow! FUCK, that smarts!"
06/02/02 Toehook is on a Toehalt. We have moved from hiatus to halt. Basically, commitments to the band cannot be made by one or more members, so we are not doing anything right now. 'Right now' can be defined as - at least a year out. Coincidentally, the band website and band e-mail have both expired and will not be re-newed. I will be moving a lot of the Toehook site to this one in the near future. So, in the meantime, Keith and I are going to be doing some whoring. We actually are going to be jamming with Gary Mann, formerly of Dreadmode/Cataclyzm and Marvin, formerly of Product B in the near future. I'll keep you posted on what's going on with that. So, with Toehook virtually dead and no current band project, work has come right along on my solo project. I am putting the finishing touches on the first song and have begun recording the second one. The first song took quite some time (trial and error stuff) but I anticipate the rest of the tracks to go a lot faster. Right now, I'm looking at about 17 songs to record ... whether or not I release them all is another story. I will keep this site up to date as much as I can.
05/16/02 Star Wars II ... Still don't know if I liked it or not. It was good, but not what I expected. Maybe that's the problem ... I expected. Well, if the shithead would come out with the movie a little sooner ... Yea, like Lucas is worried about what I have to say.
05/03/02 If I may, I'd like to say that without gravity, there would be no need for bowls. All of the bowl makers across the world would be out of business. I hope we can continue to have a peaceful relationship with gravity.
04/30/02 Poetry, not monogamy. This one is titled 'I Would Fuck A Pimple If It Could Make Me Cum' I want to see you lying on your back, legs spread let me stick it in
04/25/02 The house is big. Mike is big. Mike and the house are big. Roses are red. That car is red. That car is a rose. Cat's skin is useless. The woman is useless. The useless skin around a pussy is called the rest of the woman. I fuck with my cock. A rooster is a cock. The rooster watched me fuck with my cock. My dog took a shit. I took a shit. I took a shit and then my dog took a shit and now I get to clean up my dog's shit because he can't shit in the toilet or clean up his own shit, but he got stank breff. Shit smells like old feet. Old camels have old feet. Bitch's camel toe is so old that the shit hides the smell.
04/20/02 Indecision. Clit incision. Word on the street is proposition. Fuck the police. Police enforce laws. Politics make laws. Politics and war. Politics is war. War is murder. Murder in masses. Masses murdered. Conformity. Unity. Penis envy.
04/16/02 I'm in a funk. It's funkin' pissing me off, too. Life is full of ups and downs. I know this. Why is it that when shit is going relatively well, you have to feel depressed ... almost out of guilt for being happy. Our society doesn't really encourage living life to the fullest and being happy and all of that shit. It encourages working lots of hours and taxes and enjoying life on the weekends and during vacations. The American Dream. Corporate cocksuckers and their political bullshit games. Well, you assholes, I wish you'd realize that your fucking politics will not make your dick any bigger. Sorry, Tiny. Jerking people around and belittling is building false confidence. Take away corporate, politics and all the people (slaves), you are just a lowlife dweeb with no cock. Put that same over-confident suit fuck who everybody practically bows to in a prison situation and you'd see Mr. Confident confidentally sucking off Bubba while the real Tiny (15 inch dick) straightens out the first foot or so of his intestines. Bitch. Anyway, I feel a lot better now. I know there is a lot of rambling going on. I think Isaac Newton said it best when the apple fell and hit him on the head and he said," OW, FUCK! What the .. who the fuck hit me with this apple?"
04/10/02 "Dirty Cocksucker" Please take a fucking shower.
04/01/02 Links still don't work because I'm still working on them. What the fuck were you thinking? Hello? You big shithole licker.
03/19/02 I've changed the site again. Let me know what you think. I like it. Guestbook and mp3 links will work soon. That's it.
03/17/02 Happy St. Patrick's Day. It's been a while since I've updated. Here's the skinny. First, Toehook. The band is still on a hiatus. That's what I'm calling it anyway. I will be adding Toehook pics to this site very soon in the "foe-toez" section. The Toehook website has been down for a while. It will be back up and functional as soon as the band is (extra motivation ;)). I will also be adding updates to the solo project section as the project is under way. I am about to attempt recording the first track this week ... I hope. I'll let you know how it goes. I'm excited and nervous because I know there will be lots of challenges along the way. I am also jamming with my best friend, Joe, and we are going to be recording a project in the near future as well. More details to come on that as it develops. Outside of work and music related stuff I'm still playing volleyball and with myself. Not much new there. I think Helen Keller said it best when she said, "I see." I've gotta pack my bags for eternity in Hell. Take care.
03/03/02 A weekend in Phoenix. Time to reflect. Started thinking about past friendships. Lots lost over petty shit. Although I know I am to blame to some degree in every situation, almost every friendship lost was over or had to do with a girl. Fucking stupid. I lost my best friend because his wife and I didn't get along. I thought he was too good for her. Now, they're divorced and he is somewhere doing something. I have no fucking clue. I also realized that I'm not going to worry about the past friendships. It's in the past. I'm going to enjoy my current relationships and relish those. Life is too short. Learn from the past, but don't dwell on it. And I'm a little fucking tired of being judged for shit that I did in the past. Not necessarily bad shit. Just shit kids do. At the time it seemed like the right thing to do. But don't fucking judge me on it. It eats me up that people cling on to trivial things. Making a mistake is one thing. Learning from mistakes helps mold your character. It's part of the basis for who you are. Not making a decision or acting on something is too easy. Anyone can go through life and do nothing. Fuck that. That's when the really big, hard to overcome, oops I crapped my pants fuck-ups happen. bi.
02/28/02 I saw Dude, where's my car. I'm still trying to decide whether it was funny or extremely stupid. I'll let you know what I come up with.
02/12/02 ... so there I am, having sex on my own private island. Maybe when I'm done, I'll take a nice walk on the beach or better yet, play a sold out stadium tour. I don't know. I don't know not because I'm undecided. I don't know because everything very suddenly turned black. What the fuck? Are my eyes open? Are they closed? I don't fucking know. I think I'll just lay here a minute and try to figure this shit out. I finally convince myself that my eyes are open. Ok, what the fuck? I'm still in a sleepy stuper. The reality sets in. Why is my dick so hard? What was I dreaming about? Why can't I remember? Why? Because the shock of waking up startled my thinking and all of the blood in my body is in my dick so my brain isn't working anyway. So, where was I? Oh yea, sex. Cool, gotta go. I have a hot date with myself.
02/04/02 I fuct with the site a little. E-mail me and let me and let me know what you think of the new look. Is it a conspiracy that the Patriots happened to win the Superbowl during a trying time for this nation with all of the crap going on? I predicted that they would win the Superbowl after the VERY controversial win over the Raiders based on the fact that their colors ar the same as our flag and their name 'Patriots' would have a lot more of a meaning and pride than the Rams. I'm not taking anything away from the players, but I think penalty calls were swayed in their favor to help them along. That's my theory and I'm sticking to it. I don't want to take anything away from their fans, but that's how I feel. Sorry Keith. Anyway, I was watching TV on Sunday morning before the game. I'm sick and fucking tired of Miss Cleo, the Easy Cooker all in one, get rid of your other shit cause this is the shit, pan, the arch support that will make you want to walk to work in heels, Billy (I'm shootin') Blanks and Tae Bo, how to make a bazillion dollars with classified ads, Oxy Clean, the big ugly fucker that wants to help you feel good about yourself, the other psychic wannabe bitch, all the churches that are now hurting for cash and REALLY pressing the issue to 'Give your $$$ to Jesus so he can build me a hot tub', and that's all I can think of right now. I know there are more. If only they went back to putting cartoons on instead of 'Paid Programing'. I'll take a blue cat chasing a brown mouse over ANY Paid Programing infomercial.
01/25/02 This is an excerpt from one of my many poetry writings titled 'Stupid Fucking Gay Poem'. Ok, here it goes. Tonight, the stars shine really bright and the sky is dark like poop. While earlier, the night was blue, just like my hairy balls too. The sun was burning, fiery red no darkness to avoid. I sat down in this fucking chair and burst my hemerrhoid. Now blood is dripping from my ass in different shades of red. I wouldn't have needed to get online if I had gotten some fucking head. Now, I'm a pig for talking shit and my life will only get worse. Because a bloody ass and hairy blue balls isn't fucking fair, you shitfuck! It's still a little rough around the edges, but I think I have a winner here.
01/24/02 Classmates.com - In the past 2 weeks, I have gotten 4 e-mails from people I haven't talked to in years. That shit is whacked. Anyway, hello and welcome to my site. Basically, I give the low down on what I'm up to and I talk a lot of shit. Mostly, I talk a lot of shit. That's because I'm still an adolescent at heart and I can pee standing up. Life is too short for me to not tell you to fuck off. Fuck off! I was at the store the other day and this lady was in line in front of me. She had 5 kids and they were fucking obnoxious. Little hoodlums. Anyway, they were throwing shit and breaking shit in line and I got fed up. I asked her if she could please keep her kids under control because they kept slamming into my cart. That fat skankwhore told me to mind my own business. No fat bitch tells me to mind my own business. I proceeded to move from behind my cart, walked over to her very calmly and kicked her right in her cunt. I thought I was going to lose my foot. Sounded like I jumped in mud. Her curly pubes wrapped around my foot and lower leg. Bitch had me caught. Now, all that's going through my head is 'Oh fuck, I'm fucked." I was scared. What happenned next? Well, I t...d .o ..t ...r.reg..dv.. . g.sag.. so.. g.... e.. f.... ...t.t.. .. t. .t. h. gr... . . .fe. Bitch learned a valuable lesson that day about fucking with me. I also taught her how to cross stitch.
01/22/02 Great news. I have started on my solo project again.(not that one) As of now, I have 12 songs that I am polishing up and getting ready to start recording. I anticipate recording and releasing around 19 songs on the first CD. I am looking forward to this. There will be lots of updates coming up in the near future regarding this project, so keep checking back. Also, I lost a small pad of Post-It notes. If you've seen it, will you please e-mail me? I would like to have it back just in case I need to take down some notes sometime.
01/20/02 Just wanted to say Hi while I'm waiting for this porno movie download to finish. One thing I can't stand about the internet is how fucking slow the ...... oh, it's done downloading. Talk to you soon.
01/19/02 Happy Birthday, Thunderchild!!!!
01/18/02 What's up with Toehook? Well, not much right now. We're just kinda hanging around, writing and what not. We'll be back out and playing sooner than you think. What else is up? Divisional Playoff weekend. Yes, we are sadly coming to the end of another season of football. We are 1 week and 2 days away from knowing who will be in the Superbowl. Exciting, despite the fact that the Vikings aren't in the hunt. Maybe next year. Man, I hope I don't get into the habit of saying that too much.
01/12/02 Does internet pornography cause adultery, or does it promote monogamy based on the fact that it is all done within the home? Is masturbating considered cheating if you are fantasizing about another partner? How about if someone else is masturbating while watching you masturbate? Or, say you and another happened to be naked in the same area at the same time and you tripped and accidentally fell into a situation were you happened to have intercourse ... if it's an accident is it cheating? These are the questions that keep me up late at night and force me to watch infomercials.
01/04/02 (Afternoon) So, I'm sitting here at home sick from work and bored out of my fucking mind. Too tired and bored to sleep anymore. Not feeling well enough to do anything. Purgatory. This season has been really bad for me and getting sick. Whine, moan and bitch. I could look at the bright side; At least I still have my shoes. At least I'm not a school bus driver that drove kids to school while intoxicated and crashed into a tree and get to spend six months in the Grey Bar Hotel. At least I don't live in Afghanastan where my surrounding environment is sculpted daily by loud, fast metal birds that drop exploding shit. At least I can breathe daily on my own. At least I can see and try to see all of the bullshit our government feeds us every second of every day, yet can still appreciate that the will of America (as a people) still burns strong. At least I can piss you off because I fucked your mom. At least I can say that I really am enjoying the hell out of life. At least I can pee standing up.
01/04/02 That Kenneth Copeland guy is full of shit!
01/03/02 Oh, the shit you come across on line. My gift to you.