News 2001
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12/30/01 This will be my last update for the year 2001. The show on Friday night went very well. Thank you to everyone who came out. Toehook are currently working on new material. Exciting new shit on the horizon. Here's a re-cap of 2001 in a Nutz shell. January - I met Tony Hawk in Las Vegas (also saw Pete Rose, James Brown, Sinbad, Teller and The Smithereens), I took a shit, Jason Newsted quit Metallica, the Vikings lost in the NFC Championship game for the second time in three years and I masturbated. February - Reminisced about Mad Libs, Red-neck racecar driver dies in crash, truth about Eve making the fish smell like a cooter, masturbated a lot, verbs are nouns and dead people can't say fuck. March - 'They're' watching you look at porn, internet tale of woman who masturbates with live lobster and has offspring, I masturbate to that story, I masturbate some more, I farted, Th!nkadectomy plays first show with Ed, my friend shit his pants and lottery #'s to play. April - Th!nkadectomy dis-bands for good, insight on how little local bands make at gigs, Pappy and nuts, high school writer stuff, peace to the Slap-a-hoe Indians and no jerking off (hey, it was a slow month). May - Giving Jesus his props, doing everything people tell me to do starting with fucking myself, big hands or small dick?, Buffy dies, what kinda bitch can I get for $13.23 and Freud is dead. June - Joe had an amazing hot chick spotting day, Toehook is born, Toehook plays first show, KFMA Day II, I know I jerked off, Toehook studio, Good Morning, Good Evening and Good Night. July - Cd Release, I release, Toehook.com is born, bought a house, I know I farted. August - Bad thing happened September - The 11th, Vikings suck, jerked in every room in the new house, picked up dogshit, new hit counter(add 4000 to current hits) October - Found my favorite pen, burning farts, went to Colorado, had a birthday, found a quarter, in the mood to fuck and had an episode. November - Arizona Diamondbacks won the World Series, almost shit myself, working on solo project again, Thanksgiving, advise on being burnt out at work, I know I worked the pearl paste out of the mushroom tipped skin tube. December - Avoiding dogs for fear of accidental penetration, the Vikings suck hard this year, there is no doubt in my mind that there was some masturbation going on, had an infection on my knee, won everything at Sportspark, Christmas was great and since it's still December, I can say that I just farted. As you can see, this year has been VERY busy for me. A toast to send this year off and to bring in the new one. See you in 2002. Keepin' it real. HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!! 12/12/01 I tripped and my dick fell into my dog's ass again. The coincidental frequency of this is mind-boggling!!! 11/23/01 Hi. I'm still on vacation. Although it is rapidly coming to an end, I do want to say that if you're feeling burnt out at the work place, take a vacation. Don't just quit. Take a break and get your head clear before you make a decision. Listen what John Keepemhard from Las Vegas, NV had to say; "I never thought I could get sick of being a fluffer. Rubbin' cocks all day long and getting paid good bucks to do it. But, it did happen and I almost left to pursue another profession. Doll making. I KNOW! Anyway, I took Nutz' advise and in just one short week, I not only wanted to go back to work, I was craving it. It was all I could think about. Cock. Cock. Cock. Cock. Cock. Cock. Cock. I had cock on the brain. I begged for it, needed it, wanted it. The guys have never been more firm with me. Thanks, Nutz." Glad I could help, John. And, People, that's what I'm here for. I WANT TO HELP. Why? Well, I've been there and found a way to pull myself through it. It worked so well, I just feel like it is my duty to spread the word. Josh Inya from Des Moines, IA had this to say; "I'm 45 years old and still living with my parents. I was getting tired of sitting around and being a bum. The last 2 months were the worst. I had seriously considered getting a job several times because I felt I needed a change. Then, I came across Nutz' Advise and decided to take it. So I took a break from thinking about getting a job. It really only took 3 days for me to realize that my world be incomplete if I got a job. Life as I know it would exist no more. I really believe the Nutz' Advise saved my life and the world." Here's a few more quotes from some satisfied clients. "I had no time left to burn off at work. I took a week anyway. Now, I have no job and live in a dumpster. Thanks, Nutz." - Bob Nupindown, Sweetwater, MS "I took a week to get away during my marital problems. Now she lives in our house with my best friend who happens have a bigger dick than me. I want to die." - Richard Smalls, Lake Flacid NY "Everyone has always called me a square. I took a week off and fucked every guy I saw. Now, I have an incurable disease where my pussy is rotting from the inside out and it will eventually kill me. Life couldn't be better." - Cher Myhole, Usedup, MD I hope you can find this little column useful in your life someday. It's helped millions of thousands so far. I hope it will help you too. Remember 'Proceed ....... with caution.' Thanks and Good Night. 11/22/01 Happy Thanksgiving to all of you. I must go feast. 11/15/01 The topic for today's discussion is the solo project. What the fuck happened to the BairNutz Project? Well, life has a funny way of rearranging your priorities without you realizing it. It's fuct how it happens, but that shit really does happen. Stuff that was #1 on my 'Important to Me' list a few years ago has dropped off into lala land ... no where to be found. That's not what happened because the solo project is very important to me. I just temporarily rearranged my priorities to suit the challenges of the time. Now, the challenge is to get this fucking thing done. So, during the Thanksgiving break, I will be working on getting this mutha fucka started. That is the hardest part. It's like fucking. You can't just stick it in dry. You gotta tease it a little. Get it to the point where it is sopping wet, then fuck the shit out of it. Ride it like you'll never ride another one again. I like music. I like pussy, too. 11/06/01 I was going to type a bunch of stuff, but I just farted and almost shit myself so I must go freshen up. Sorry. 11/04/01 Congratulations to the Arizona Diamondbacks for winning the 2001 World Series. 11/01/01 It's been a month now and here's what's new. I had a birthday, went to Colorado to visit family, got a Playstation 2 as a gift, drove in snow for the first time, played a gig, had a great time, thank you Brad and Pete, ate at In-N-Out Burger, went to see Tool, was an awesome concert, didn't go trick or treating, had friends over on Halloween, work a lot of overtime, found a quarter, washed my hands, lost a dollar, Vikings won, Vikings lost, played some volleyball, worked around the house, watched the D-Backs win, watched 'em lose, went to sleep, woke up on the couch, went to bed, played with the dog and listened to the music in my head. Listen to the music in my head. You'll hear. I'm in the mood to fuck. 10/01/01 Some new updates. First I got rid of the corkboard for people to post their thoughts because it wasn't getting much use. That's fine. I, myself, hadn't checked it for a few months now. So, that's gone. I also did a bunch of little things to (hopefully) help the site load faster. You might not notice too much, but any and every little bit of optimizing space helps. I worked all weekend, ate mexican three meals in a row and have horrible burning farts and I can't find my favorite pen. The good side; I woke up today, the Vikings actually won a game, I found my favorite pen and I don't have to pee in a diaper. These are the things that make me want to get out of bed every morning. That and to watch all the soaps I record daily. ( I like to pretend that there is a 'b' in front of Ryan's Hope and that the show is about me ... sleeping with all of those hot mens and women, slappin' my ass. That's right SLAP THAT ASS!) Sorry, I had an episode. Must go .... now. 09/28/01 I hath doth changed the hit counter AGAIN. The site is well over 4000 hits, but I'm going to see how many I get within the next month or so. So would both of you who visit the site please go to the main page and hit refresh a few hundred times?? Now, yesterday was band practice and we had some new shit happening. It was cool. Toehook will have some new shit to play at the next gig on 10-20-01. Anyway, that's all for now but I will talk to you all soon. 09/23/01 Well, things aren't back to normal, but they never will be. Everything is different now. What hasn't changed is the Vikings losing streak. 0-2. They have the talent, but they show little to no heart. They will not make the playoffs this year with this attitude. And I believe that stems back to the coach. He better get them back on track, because he just might be looking for another job in the near future. Well, regardless of their play, I will support them like any true fan would support their team. What else is up? Well, been living in my house for almost 2 months now and I've jerked off in everyroom but the garage now. This is an accomplishment .. or something to do. I don't know. I'm also going to be picking up dogshit in the backyard a little later on today, so I guess that'll keep me busy. It'll be an accomplishment that I can write about tomorrow. Toehook has met some great bands over the past couple shows. Mad 7, Remains of Chaos, Fevered Dreams to name a few. I must go, but stay tuned when next time I actually say something. 09/11/01 A day that will be remembered. A day that changed America. 09/09/01 Hello. Been real busy lately (Yea, I know blah blah blah). What's new, right? Check out the 'Foe-Toez' section for new Th!nkAdectOmy pictures. I put a lot of them up. Toe-Hook pictures coming as well. Well, the band is doing really good right now. Two gigs lined up right now, so we're really excited. Volleyball is now into the double elimination two week long playoffs. We finished the season 4th out of 9 teams. Not bad for our first season there. That's about the only new stuff going on in my world. That and house shit, of course, and I think that will always be going on from now on. I will say that lately I've been a little irritated with the movement to turn America into a non-English speaking country. I don't have a problem at all with people who know other languages. I wish I did. I have a problem with foreigners coming to my country and expecting stuff to be in their language (ie billboards, radio stations, various products etc). It's bullshit. I know I sound like a bigot but I wouldn't go to a French speaking country or a Russian speaking country and expect them to know English. Anyway, I'm not in the mood to go off anymore right now, but check back soon because I'm sure I'll come up with something that will piss someone off. Peace and talk to you soon. 08/19/01 Ok, internet connection is a go and here we are. What's been going on with me for the past month? Must be something because I've neglected the site for a little too long. Well, I am now a homeowner. Renter no more. Living the American Dream. I am a homeowner. So, that has been consuming most of my time, but now that things are settling down it's time to pick up where I left off as far as updating the website and shit. So, I'll refer to this day as the new beginning. A lot has happened over the past month. A lot of good and even more bad. A lot more bad. Right now it's all still a blur. My cousin died a couple days ago. 25 years old fresh out of college with a degree. 25 years old. That's just too fucking youn still trying to get over the initial shock. It's just too much to take in. I'm going on vacation in a couple days. It won't be much of a vacation, but it will give me time to deal with this and try to understand .... no, I'll never understand. It's above me in this life on this planet. I think I mean accept what has happened and let the memories of his life leave a permenant impression in my head. Jason, I miss you. God, please take care of him. 07/23/01 What's going on. Well, toehook.com is up and functional. The CD has been released. The band is doing great. This site has suffered a little from the lack of time due to focusing resources in other areas (aka the band). Indoor volleyball is a much faster game and the level of competition is a lot better. It's pretty cool right now. In one week I close on my very own house. I will be living there in less than 2 weeks, so that's been eating up my time. Actually, I'm going to pat myself on the back for a minute. I managed to coordinate buying a house and all the bullshit associated with that, getting the cd's off to be pressed in a very tight time frame, winning a volleyball season, supervising my crew at work, managing my relationship with my girlfriend and still having plenty of time for spanking the monkey. Anyway, life is good and I will talk with you all in a little bit with more updates. Peace. 07/12/01 Changes. Changes. Changes. Lots and lots of changes in my life in the near future. More to come on that in one of the next few posts. Anyway, toehook.com is up and running. It's plain, but it works. It won't be like that for long, but for now this is what we have. Check out toehook.com now. More to come soon. 07/04/01 Independence Day, 2001. This year is already half over. Time is flyin' by. Oh yea, no updates in a while because work was hectic and the past couple days the phone line was down. Life is peachy now. The CD is off getting replicated and we will have our CD release at the party in a week and a half. Inlay design is near completion and will be sent in tomorrow. We will have our cds. The price is $5. Other things happening: When I went to work yesterday, I saw a dead cat in the road. That's it for today, but tomorrow is, after all, another day and with another day brings more to say. Chitty bang bang. Chitty Bang bang! 06/28/01 The CD is DONE!!!!! We just need to get some copies pressed and we be selling it to all of you. $5 is the price. Understand that this project cost us a lot of money. Please don't ask for free cd's. Support a starving band and pay for the disc without any gripes. We put a lot of hard work into this. We are confident that you will like it. 06/24/01 The gig. Special thanks to Mad 7 for hooking us up with the gig, Gary Mann (Gwarmann) of Desert Moon Sound for getting us the most excellent sound and to everyone who showed up. It was a fun gig and we all had a great time. Toe Hook is a gig virgin no more. 06/19/01 The new CD is almost done being mixed. There are 5 songs and we hope to have it out in all of your hands within a month. Song titles?? They are .... on the CD, so you'll know when you buy one. Ok? Alrighty then, Fuckface! Fuckleberry! Fuckertooth! Fuckula! Fuckenstein! Fuckityfuck! He who Fuckith! The Fuck on the Moon. Three fucks and you're out! Don't fuck me, I fuck you! The Fuckles. Fuckillica. Limp Fuck. Three Elfucken. Led Fucklin. Def Fuckard. Living Fucklor. Megafuck. Good Morning, Good Evening and Good Night!. 06/15/01 Studio time again tomorrow. We hope to finish the 5 songs we began last week. Sunday is KFMA Day II. Bands are Cold, Saliva, Stabbing Westward, Staind, 311 and others. Should be a blast. Looking forward to it. That's all for now. More soon though. Peace out. 06/12/01 The studio: We recorded 5 songs on Saturday. 5 songs meaning ALL drums, bass and guitars are finished. We also finished the lead and backing vocals to one of the songs. This Saturday we hope to get the 4 other songs done vocally and all 5 songs mixed with effects. That would be sweet. So that's all that's new right now. I will have pics of the studio session up soon on this site and the band hopes to have a website up within the next month or so. I will let you know when this happens. Visit Mad 7. They are friends of ours and they hooked us up with the Lincoln Park gig. That's all for now. Peace out all ya all. 06/06/01 Joe had the unbelievable girl spotting experience yesterday. There, Joe. It's logged for ever. 06/03/01 THE BAND NAME. We have decided on a bandname, but before I get to that let me tell you about the band. First, I'll start with me on guitar and vox. On drums and backing vox is Keith Hancock. This is the third band I've been in with Keith, Racer Cafe and Th!nkAdectOmy previously. On bass and vox is Kenny Current. Kenny's last band was LTO (Limited Time Offer). Band pictures will be on the way soon so keep your eyes out for this. The Music. The music is heavy groovin in your face fun rock. Did I mention that it's really good too? Last, the band name. There will be a link to the page shortly in the left frame, but for now you're going to have to click here or click on the link on the main page. The new band name is Toe Hook. Let it sink in a little before you judge. Toe Hook. Click on the link to see the upcoming shows. (Yes, we already have shows) That's all for now. Talk to you all real soon. 06/01/01 The New Band. Yep, it's now official. I'm in a new band. We haven't agreed 100% on a name yet, but since we have a show coming up next weekend, I think we'll come up with something pretty damn quick. The Gig. It's a party type of gig. We are playing at Kennedy Park on Sunday, June 10th. I will give more details within the next day or so ... as they become available. I am very excited. I'm not giving out too much info yet, but in good time you shall know all. Talk to you all in a bit. 05/22/01 Buffy's dead. 05/18/01 What would you dip your junk in for a million bucks? Ladies, what would you dip in your junkyard for a million bucks? Screw a million bucks for a minute. Ladies, how about for $13.23? See, that's all I have on me right now but I'm sure I can come up with another 9 or 8 dollars. Think about it. 05/17/01 Why is it that no matter how fast you are running in your dreams, it's never fast enough? The thing chasing you is always faster and always gains on you. Then just as it grabs you, you wake up in a puddle of sweat and feces. Where's Sigmund Freud when you need him? Where? I'll tell you where. He's fucking dead because that shit caught him in his dream one night. Crazy old cout anyway. Ok, just kidding. Don't have a cow. I was just fuckin around. Here's something fuct up. I was trying to get a line from one of the books of The Bible and after almost a half hour of searching I found squat. It was all services for translation on the bible and bookstores selling copies of the bible. What is up with that? Pay for the word of God? What better place than the internet in this day and age to spread the word of God. Preachers could do live online sermons. Kids could download music from a central server that only carries positive music. Online chatrooms for teens and single adults to meet each other and chat about whatever and have it monitored if you're worried about profanity and talk about sex and drugs. The worst thing they can do is ignore it. Ignore the fact that the internet exists is like walking down train tracks and ignoring the fact that a train is about kill your ass head on. There is plenty of opportunity for these people to give kids another outlet (that they control, I might add) and they will fuck this one up because the parking lot needs to be repaved at the church. FUCK THE CHURCH PARKING LOT! People will still show up if they have to park on dirt as opposed to asphalt. We are talking about direction for the next generation. I know I talk a lot of shit about church and religion and that's because I think GOD should be incorporated into everyone's lives and I think church and religion fuck up the process. Look. A preacher or whatever you want to call him, is just a person like you and me who spent a lot of time reading the bible or reading books on the bible. So, his/her weekly preachings are his interpretations of the bible. Unless he/she is reading directly out of the Bible, it is an interpretation, period. There's nothing wrong with that. Where I have the problem is when I see (and I have seen) the donation plate being passed around during the sermon. What kind of bullshit is this? I'll tell you what it is. The first person to get the plate HAS to give because everyone is watching. Everyone is watching to see if the first person will give $$$. Because of the pressure of being first and everyone watching, the first person put some cash in the plate. Everyone see's this. As the plate is passed around person after person is putting $$$ in the plate, not to be outdone by the previous person. It's a combination of ego and guilt that makes you want to give. The problem is, you should give because you want to, not because you were pressured or made to feel guilty. That's the same kind of peer pressure that gets kids into sex, drinking and drugs. You know why kids are second class citizens in church? They don't carry cash in the wallet. It's not good practice by any means. True, a church is providing a service, but if they want money for it why not have a cover charge at the door like bars do? I'll tell you why. Donations in small increments are not taxable. Smart, if you ask me. The Christianity Corporation for One God. Jesus, you died for all of this. I'm truly sorry, disgusted and all out embarassed for human kind and don't blame you if you turn you back on us. But, please please take care of my dog. 05/15/01 I got the new Tool album and the new Fear Factory album and the new Weezer album and the new Megadeth album. I hate it when there are a shitload of new releases on one day because it bankrupts me. I'm a sucker when it comes to new music .. and a brand new tub of vasoline. I haven't listened to them all yet so I have no reviews on these yet other than the Fear Factory rocks pretty hard. I'm saving Tool for last. On to the next topic. I received an e-mail about my english skills pertaining to this site. Basically, it was someone who felt like correcting my grammar. Well, here's my reply to 'The Teach'. First, the long, drawn-out reply. ' Well, the way I see it is this is my site that I pay for to write the things I want to write in the fashion that I see fit. I appreciate your knowledge of the English language, but think of this site like you'd think of a big poem. I write what I want to with no rules or guidelines and it doesn't have to rhyme all of the time. So, although I don't have a degree in English, I can write my thoughts out randomly on this site to get my point across(if there is a point). Now, my short, scaled down, simple and honest answer. Fuck you, you fucking fuck. 05/14/01 Due to an overall change in the heart and kindness of mankind, I've decided that, in order to preserve peace, I will now do EVERYTHING that anyone asks me to do. So, based on today's events, here's the beginning of my new life and my agenda. First, I must eat shit and die. Then, after that, I get to fuck myself. That sounds fun. Then there is a lot more fucking, including but not limited to fucking me silly, a goat, me running, a duck, an a, my grandma and a fire ant. I'm not sure how exactly how it would work with a fire ant, but I'm sure I'll figure it out. Then, while my dick gets to take a break from all of the fucking it will endure, I get to go out and get lost and get out of the way. This isn't the order that these were taken down in, but I figured if I'm lost I can't possibly be in anyone's way. What next? Oh yea, I get to eat some more shit, drop dead and then I get to have some more sex. This time I get to fuck a jigsaw. Then I get to run out in traffic for a while, shove a cattle prod up my ass, suck a dick, pop a zit on an ass with my teeth and suck out the white head and then suck a fart out of an ass. That about sums up the first day of my new life. I'm so excited. I feel like I'm making a difference in the collaboration of harmony throughout all of mankind. I just might be the single most important being on this planet right now. Can't we all just get along? 05/13/01 Here's some shit. High school reunion time. Define your post-high school success. How successful have you been? What is the criteria that determines success? Wage is very important. If you don't make more than $10 per hour, you're pretty much a loser. Family is another big one. A spouse and children is a huge plus. Last is toys. How many toys do you have? Fewer toys = lower wage and a lower wage means that you aren't very successful. At least that's what a lot of people think. I learned some shit. To me, success is working a job and making enough money to pay the bills and support the things that I love to do outside of work which make me feel alive. Life is meant to be lived. You can't always be safe and you can't always be secure. Safe for too long turns into dull and life is WAY too short to be lived in this fashion. Climb a mountain, run a marathon, fuck a goat or do something you haven't done before. Live life while the livin's good. Don't wait until retirement to do everything. There's not enough time. There's never enough time. And why o why is it that when I'm fully erect and I grip my junk that nothing hangs out? I must have huge hands. That's what I keep telling myself. Yea, that's it. 05/03/01 Nuclear Holocaust: We've been so close to eliminating ourselves so many times it really makes me sick. Just think about it like Russian Roulette. 1 bullet 6 chambers. It's only a matter of time that when the trigger is pulled it doesn't just go click, or in the case of the end of mankind, the button is pushed. And what's it over? Think about it. What was the cold war over? What is the current tensions with China over? I'm not going to answer this right now, but I do want to ask you this. Based on your answer(s), is it worth it? Is it a noble cause? Is it worth your life and any future offspring you might have? Is it worth all of the sacrifice our ancestors went through to get us to where we are now? The evolution, the feeling of just being alive. Is throwing all of this away worth it? 05/02/01 UPDATES: I've actually updated the site .. sort of. I finally have the pics of Th!nkAdectOmy's last show (thanks James)and they will be up on the site soon. Hopefully within the next few days. I will also have more stuff up on the Racer Cafe galleries. The solo project is coming along very slow right now, but the fact that it's coming along at all is a good thing. As long as there is SOME forward progress, right. Congratulations to Kenny and his wife on their new addition to their family. I'd like to thank Dennis for winning me some tickets to KFMA Day 2. I will provide you with mass cerveza. I'd like to say hello to Pappy, Keith, Brad, Greg, Jody (where ever you are right now), Ken, Kenny, Mike and Jesus. Nobody gives Jesus his props. It's always Thank you God, God bless you, for the love of God and Dear God. What about Jesus? Sure, he didn't create the universe, but he is the son of God and he did die for our sins and in a not so pleasant way I might add. We've been dissin JC. Jesus Christ Almighty. So, I end today with this. Dear God and Jesus, Thank you for blessing me with this life I have and the healthy body in which I live it. After this life is over, do you think I could upgrade to the model with the full head of hair and the bigger penis? Faithfully, Yours. 04/26/01 I work so I can live the life and have the luxuries that I want. I can't do what I want and live the life I want because I spend so much time at work. What the fuck is up with that? I'll tell you. It's the man. He makes it so you get to a point where you have to stay busy at your job and you aren't paying as much attention to what he's doing. Then a law gets passed here and there shaving a small piece of your freedom away. Not that much, but over an extended time period those little laws add up and the next thing you know we're paying a tax on air. Shit, we're basically there right now. Oil companies need to die. And they will ... along with the rest of human kind. What will the next civilization think of us? '"Well, these dinosaurs were killed off by a meteor that caused global darkness for a couple years. These humans were killed off by themselves. They must've been some stupid stupid creatures." I hope I never have to write our resume. 04/15/01 What the eff you see kay has been up with all ya all? Word and all that. I'd like to give a shout out to all of my Indian friends on the Slap-a-Hoe Reservation. 04/08/01 During my senior year of high school, I wrote for an underground publication called "Two Moons" that my good friend, Ian Hess, created. He took all of his hard earned money from his job working weekends and weeknights and started his own paper. It was small at first, but gained a HUGE underground following throughout the year. It talked about issues ranging from music to how fucked up the administration was and even had some heated debates between writers. This is where I got my first start as a true writer. Although, my English skills were and still are less than perfect, I had the chance to publish my thoughts for other people to read. It was pretty exciting. All the writers used an alias. Mine was S.H.Long. Looking back, I wrote about stupid shit and wrote shit just to piss people off. Some things never change. But, to have that opportunity at that time in my life where everything seemed so uncertain was really a great thing. So, what happened to Two Moons? Well, at the end of the year, about a week before graduation, the last issue of Two Moons was passed out with all of the writers true identities being exposed. This was the issue where everyone went off on everything. Some of it might have been considered distasteful, but it was our opinions. Ian took the fall. The fat ass fucking dickhead we called the principal (Dick Evers) at 4 hours prior to the ceremony, would not let Ian walk with his class. All of the begging and pleading from him and his parents ... it just wasn't fair. And, looking back, it really wasn't fair that all of us writers DID get to walk. Ian got the news to show up and embarrassed Mr. Evers, which created hell for Ian's brother, Aaron, the next year who was one year behind him, but it is an injustice. This is a situation where the principal, instead of being fair, was unjust and just trying to make an example out of someone. Bullshit, I tell you. I hope I never see that principle of a dickhead ever again. I will tell him off to his face .. no hesitation. I only wish Ian and I were still in touch with each other. I haven't talked to him in at least 4 years. Graduation night was hard because a group of us hung out and Ian was part of that group. He was so let down. So, what am I trying to say here? Freedom of speech. Consequences of Speech. As a high school student, you have/had no rights under the constitution because the grown-ups knew what was on your mind ... what was best for you ... what you have to go through everyday. They were there once. And if you've done something someone else hasn't, that makes you the expert. That situation at graduation was my first eye-opening experience that high school administration is corrupt. Then I started paying attention to politics and realized that politics and politicians are corrupt. Politicians run the gov't, so the Gov't is corrupt. What am I saying? Shit, I lost track of where I was going. Um ... and this concludes this test from the Emergency Broadcast System. 04/07/01 Hey Pappy, hope you're doing as good as you possibly could right now. 04/02/01 Lots and lots of questions about the band. Well, Th!nkAdectOmy is finished. Band no more. This is not a secret. Why? Well, I guess the best way to sum it up would be to say that we were just plain tired. Keith and I have been in this band for almost 5 years. From November 1996 until October 1999 was the first stage of the band. Then we broke up and went our seperate ways. In April of 2000 we got back together to record the music we had written in the previous years to preserve the memory. After a couple of jams, we got that bug and reformed ThinkAdectOmy. Then, in October of 2000 when everything was coming together again, Greg moved to San Diego to pursue a once in a lifetime opportunity. Nov - Dec 2000 was bass player tryouts. Late Dec, Ed joins the band and we begin the process of re-re forming the band. We play a show in March (our first one with Ed) and everything is hunky-a-ok, but Keith (then I) realizes how physically and mentally draining the band has been and a break is needed. Being in a band is fun, but it's not always fun and it's not fun all of the time. Next time you go see a band play, take this into consideration. On the local level or a band with no roadies must get to the venue at least 2 hours proir to the gig to set up and sound check. If you are bringing your own PA system add another 2 hours. So, let's say your band goes on third out of three slots. That's about 11:30pm when you take the stage. (it's supposed to be 11:00pm, but the 2 opening bands will go over their time limit and the transfer between bands will take longer than expected. It ALWAYS happens.) Well, the gig started at 9pm with the first band. That means you had to get there at 7pm ... but you are providing the PA system. That means you get there at 4:30-5 and start setting up because the PA ALWAYS takes longer to set up than it does to tear down. Your practice space is about 10 miles from where you live, so in order to get to the venue by 4:30 (always plan on getting there early because an emergency stop at the music store and/or traffic ALWAYS fucks you), you have to leave your house by 3pm. That gives you a half hour to get to the space and an hour to tear down the equipment and load it up. So, if this were a job, the start time would be 3pm. Now, 11:30pm rolls around and you start your show. Because the other two bands went over their time, it eats into your time and you now only have an hour to play instead of the hour and a half you were told. Some clubs want you to play until 1am, but a lot of them want to leave as early as possible. So, you finish your last song at 12:45am. You shoot the shit for 20 minutes with everyone of your friends who actually stayed for the whole gig and then the bar kicks them out. 1:05 am begin tear down. A little before 2 am everything is loaded because club owners and workers are helping load because they want to get home. Drive back to the studio and begin unloading the equipment. The last piece comes off of the truck at 3am. Stop time. You just worked a twelve hour day. Oh yea, I almost forgot. Since you are an original band, you don't draw the crowds like the cover bands. 75 people total throughout the night at $3 a head is $225. Half is to be split with the first two bands, which leaves your band with $112. There are 3 people in your band, so each member gets a grand total of $37.33. That comes out to roughly $3.11 an hour. This is what it's like to play in Tucson. Am I bitching? Not at all. I play out because I love to play out. $$$ is a bonus kinda thing. I just want you to understand what a band goes through to play a gig. Some hard working people right there. That's it for now. 04/01/01 Due to many different personal reasons within the band, Th!nkAdectOmy is officially finished. The music will live on and there is still a CD to finish, but the band will exist no more. I don't want to say that there will never be a Th!nkAdectOmy reunion, but probably not in the near future. The decision was hard, but necessary. Ed, Keith and I are all still friends, but we will not be known collectively as Th!nkAdectOmy anymore. So, with the disbandment of Th!nkAdectOmy, what are your plans, Nutz? Glad you asked. I plan on putting a band together in the near future (a couple months or less), but in the immediate future, I have been and will continue working on my solo project that has taken the backseat to everything else over the past few years. This project WILL be done sometime this year. I have about 15 songs to record, so how ever long that takes to finish, mix and duplicate. I am really excited to get this project moving again. Something I need to do that will enable me to move forward and take the next leap into personal and musical developement. Oh yea, this isn't an April Fools Joke. Holy Shit! LOOK OUT BEHIND YOU!! Ahh ah ahhh ahah ahaha ahhhhhahhh ahh ah ahhha ha ahhhh ahhh ahhha hhhh ahhhh ahhah April Fools 03/28/01 I have a friend who shit his pants. 03/27/01 I don't want to work. I just want to bang on me pole all day. Hey, do you all remember that internet story that floated around about 6 months ago about the woman who masturbated with a live lobster? Then followed the envelope licking-tongue cut cockroach one. How about the genetically mutated chickens from KFC? The shit people come up with. The dog with one thumb. The horse with no tail, 5 legs and fangs for teeth. The monkey fucking a football. The honest homeless person with the rare intestinal dysfunction who'll get 6 cents everytime the e-mail is forwarded to 5 people who are willing to jerk off with dogshit covered razorblades or dry buttfuck a billygoat while running backwards pissdrunk in a hailstorm next to a shear cliff. Pass this on and you'll have good luck. Jump off of a cliff and you'll be able to fly. Go ahead, Jackass. Chop it off, Lizard Dick. I'm telling you, it ain't gonna grow back. This isn't a game. This isn't a children's story with a happy ending like 'The Little Fetus That Could' or 'Shitty Gang Bang'. This is serious shit. Consequences to be had I tell you. Pass this on to five people and you will have the same shitty odd's as the next poor sap to win the lottery. #'s to play: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5 bonus # (-14) 03/24/01 Due to excessive blistering and poor lubrication, the regularly scheduled spanking will not be discussed. I am sorry for the inconvience that this may cause you. Please tune in again next week for some more tear-JERKING fun. 03/21/01 Pussah. Dats duuh way wuv goez. Hi to all of my peeps out there. 03/17/01 New pictures coming soon of the party we played at Brad's house on March 10th thanks to Pappy D. I should have them up within the next couple days. 03/16/01 I just milked my lizard and want to name each and every spermlette. I'm running out of names. Maybe you all can help me out. Click here and give me your input. Also looking for different terms for varnishing the flag pole, if you know what I mean. I just had a stroke. Making the magic lube. Rub one out. Polishing the purple helmet. 03/12/01 Here's the deal, people. This is where I speak freely about what's on my mind or ideas I have or whatever I want. I PAY $$$ FOR THIS SERVICE AND, for lack of a better word, RIGHT. Don't e-mail me and bitch about it. Get your own site and SPEAK YOUR MIND. Then, e-mail me the link. I don't care if you get offended because if you are offended, you probably took something a little too personal or serious. Remember, I don't know you and that means I don't know what might offend you and what might make you laugh. That is a very fine line ... to some people. I just don't give a fuck. I say what I feel and cut out the bullshit ... unless I want the bullshit there, then I leave it. Freedom is a great thing. Take advantage of it while you still can. Freedom. 03/04/01 You are on trial. You might not realize it yet, but soon everything you do online will become 'public' knowledge, meaning that employers, friends and family will be able to see what you do online. Have you ever acidentally clicked on a gay porn site or accidentally gotten transferred to one because you clicked on a site that said ' Increase your muscle mass'? Yep, you are now considered a gay porn viewer and regardless of reasoning you have, this is how people will see you. A gay porn junkie. How many company's will hire someone who might view gay porn at work? The government already knows what you read, what sites you visit most often, who you get e-mails from and everything about them. They have to. It's part of the duty of our 'National Security'. Though I was always under the impression that security was around for just that, security. Protection. But, it's easier to protect if you KNOW who to look out for and, so knowing everybody makes their job easier and it takes away one more sliver of the freedom we have left in this country. So, just remember that EVERYTHING you do on your computer is being documented. It doesn't matter if you're online or not, they know. Same thing when you give blood. Everytime you give blood or have blood taken, it's being documented and the data is being collected in your profile they started many years ago. You think they just throw it away when they're done? They have your fingerprints as well. You can't go through life and not touch anything. Whether you want to admit it or not, they have all of your information. I know I sound like a paranoid conspiritist, but to think the Uncle Sam's not fucking around on you is ridiculous and shows exactly why he's able to do it. It hurts to face the truth and let's face it, ignorance is bliss. 02/24/01 I can't remember what I ate last night, but I'm farting some serious gravy. It's pretty damn gross. Check out this link Jump the shark.com. It's about TV shows and at what defining point you knew the show had peaked and was on it's way down. They got the name of the site from a 'Happy Days' episode where Fonzie jumped some sharks on his motorcycle. I never saw that one, but that's what it says. Kinda cool and there's TONS of shows listed. 02/23/01 Moth balls. They come in a box you buy at the store. They smell funky and you put them in with clothing and what not for storage and stuff. Those have got to be some big fucking moths to have balls like that. Shit, they're bigger than mine. Man eating moths. I'm telling you, the end is near when moths have bigger balls than man. Switching thoughts, here's a misconception that has been going on for years and years and I feel it's my duty to clear it up for all of you. When Adam and Eve were told by God to enjoy the Garden of Eden, but not to eat from a 'special' tree, did you know that Eve was also told not to swim in the river? Of course she did. Why do you think fish smells today the way it does? Cooter don't smell like fish. Fish smell like cooter. I feel better knowing I cleared up that misconception. One more thing; I was watching some old clips from the eighties and do you remember what was big then (other than hair)? TV Evangelism. Preaching actors filling 80,000 + capacity arena's and yelling about God and shedding tears of joy. Tears of joy because they're going to the bank after all the $$$ is collected and cashing out. Maybe go get a hooker or three or get the wife her 150th face lift and makeup tatoos to keep her ass quiet. Praise God. Praise the almighty dollar. In God we trust. Sinners. They're all going to hell. Lying to millions. Cheating and stealing from millions in the name of God. Adultery. And people say I'm evil for saying shit like this? For speaking my mind? I sin? Well, I do, but a few curse words and enpregnating a tube sock hardly compares to ripping off and lying to millions of people. They could've just charged an admission fee to have people come in and watch them pull down their pants, wave their dicks at them and tell them to fuck off. ... and Gen X is the 'lost' generation. 02/20/01 Let me be the first to welcome you to the first day of the rest of your life. Welcome. 02/19/01 Dale Earnhardt dies in a car race, we bomb Iraq AGAIN and global warming will do mass destruction to our population within the next 50 years. Well, we did it to ourselves. I feel bad for our children and their children who get to inherit the mess, but I hope I'm alive to see it. Major cities submerged in water, droughts in the heartland, acid rain, no ozone layer and you know what? Cockroaches will still be kickin'. Sounds like some serious entertainment to be had. Let's sing a song together. This land is your land, this land is my land, from West Virginia to the Rocky Mountains, from the Great Salt Lake to the Applachain Mtns. This land was made for you and me. Yep, made for us. Fuck living in harmony with nature. Fuck the food chain. Fuck ourselves! It belongs to us and what do we do to it as a society? Do we nurture it? Do we understand the fragility of our existence? No. We bulldoze it, concrete it, bury our trash and man made hazourdous material, fuck it until it bleeds, until it blisters and just when it looks like we might be finished and let the healing process begin, we strap on a dick 14 million times the size of our own and dry fuck it some more. Why? Because we hate the Earth and we hate ourselves. That's the only logical answer I can come up with. So, on that note, FUCK YOU ALL!!! 02/18/01 Hi. I can say fuck. You know why I can say fuck? Because, I'm alive. Dead people can't say fuck. That's because they're dead. I can say fuck. 02/16/01 Vagina fart poop car in a dish. Shit fuck dick sniff pricka licka sicka wicka on the track a lacka. My thong thu thong thong thong! Do you ever make up songs and shit in your head? Stupid meaningless words that you sing over and over again? Ok, well, I do and I had the song called 'Farting grapes and a side of anarchy' Well, I didn't ACTUALLY title it ... it's the only words I have to it. I kinda hum and fragment words in the other parts. Wow, reading back on this I'm beginning to think that I might be a little off center in the head ... and that's why choosy mom's chose Jif. 02/15/01 Remember Mad Libs? God, I loved those fucking things. Where you get together with your friends and fill in the blanks with nouns, adjectives and verbs. Of course, I always seemed to get partnered with the guy that .. well you know .. where you have to explain what a verb is every single time you come to a verb. "Look, how many fucking times do I have to tell you that 'car' is NOT a verb. A 'car' is a noun. Here's a sentence. The fucking car leaks. 'Leaks' is the verb. Now, give me a fucking verb!I always hated that. What's really fucked up is 'verb' is a noun. If you look it up in the dictionary, it's a noun. That'll fuck the dumb ones up real good. Well, as Shakesphere once said; 'I shit, therefore I must leave.' 02/12/01 ..... so there I was, no one home and some good porn on the computer screen, minding my own business with my right hand was on the mouse and the left on the monkey, when the dog started barking. SHIT! Someone was home. With my left hand still strangling my monkey, I stood up real quick and turned to look out the window to see who it was. As I took my first step, I remembered I still had my shorts around my ankles. It's too bad I remembered that while I was falling to the ground. THUD! Dead smack on the floor. But, it didn't hurt like it should've. Something broke my fall. I opened my eyes and realized my brand new bottle of Jergens had exploded all over the carpet. Dammit. Then, the car door shut. My heart started racing. I looked for something to clean it up with. Shit, nothings around. Where the fuck did my lucky tube sock go? Then, an idea arose. I looked down and yanked my shorts off, pulling my underwear from inside. Perfect. I began wiping furiously. I looked around and realized my left hand was STILL punishing the monkey. What the fuck is up with that? Monkey hafta wait. My left hand then joined my right hand in the wiping process. I then ditched the underwear in the drawer and pulled my shorts up. I got up and looked out the window and realized that someone was home ... at the neighbors house. Damn! What are you laughing at, Mr. Monkey. You want another choking? Huh? You think that's funny, motherfucker? That's it you slitheaded purplemushroomtipped yogurt thrower, you're dead. Morals of this story; 1.) believe half of what you see and none of what you hear. 2.) Don't leave your shorts around your ankles. (Sounds like a country song title) 3.) Always buy moisturizing products in plastic bottles. 02/11/01 I was watching some shit on VH-1 about the 100 most memorable TV moments in rock. Something like that anyway. They came to the one where Sinead O'Conner ripped up the picture of the Pope on Saturday Night Live. It pissed millions of people off and there were Sinead CD destruction events happening all over. Well, I'm gonna get started. As I said in yesterday's mail, FUCK THE POPE!!! People, this is a man. He is flesh and blood like you and I. He is NOT greater than anyone and should not be treated like a GOD. Did God give him the title? No, it was inherited from the last pope. But, Catholics treat him like he is God or his equivalent. Maybe God's brother and Sunday golfing buddy (Remember, the seventh day is for resting). Bow to him and kiss his hand?? What the fuck kind of distortion on religion is this? God is a supreme being. The Pope is a M - A - N, MAN! Sure, he's done some good for the world, but I bet I could do a lot too if I had the money the Catholic Church Corporation has. They are the richest business in the world. Hell, they've only been around for something like a thousand years. You don't remain successful as long as they have by giving to the needy. Bullshit. You re-invest. Save that shit up. Put lots of money in the bank and in businesses so you can sway them to best suit your needs. That shit's been going on a long time and still is. As for the people who bought Sinead CD's to destroy, I say great! It's a free country and you have the right to voice your opinion. But, remember that when you bought those CD's, you were actually supporting her and putting $$$ in her pocket. I don't really care for Sinead, but I thought it was a great moment in time when she ripped the pope. The way I see it is like this : A lot of people ripped on Sinead and voiced their opinions on her ripping up the pope and voicing her opinion. Here's an observation about our society regarding that event. I wonder how many people immediately got upset and starting bad mouthing her for her actions verses the amount of people who sat there and thought "Hmmm, I wonder why she did that. Did he sexually assult her? Did she have a bad experience with religion at sometime in her life? Was she on the rag?" It honestly didn't really phase me until all the hype started. Then I thought about it for a while and came to this conclusion : Fuck the Pope! 02/10/01 Today was flag football day. It was fun. I jammed my pinky finger on my right hand (stroking hand), but it's all good. I can still play guitar so life is good. I also had a dream that I was captured by some drug lords and was being held against my will. The fuct up thing is that I was held in a fenced in area somewhere in South America (what I pictured it to look like anyway), but across the dirt road by my little fenced in area was downtown L.A. I also had a gun and a box of Twinkies. Nobody spoke English. As the dream progressed, I kept capping the machine gun carrying drug lord body guards. It was like one a night. Nobody asked questions and I was never searched. They just dragged the bodies away without saying a word. It was kinda eerie. Right before I woke up, I had hopped the 4 ft chain link fence holding me in and was making a run for L.A. Gunshots rang out and then I woke up with a headache that lasted about 1 minute. That's all I can remember from it. Dreams are trippy. It's amazing what your mind can do ... how real it can make something feel. So, now you all have a little piece of what goes on in my head. Oh yea, Tech Decks rule. If they were making these when I was a kid, I'd've blown all my money on them. Fuck the Pope! 02/01/01 I just found out Peel is getting back together. This is good glavin. I was in Peel at one point and I have a lot of respect for those guys .. plus they're my friends. Expect to see a few Th!nkAdectOmy / Peel shows in the near future. I'm stoked. Anyway, that's all I have to say right now. Peace out. 01/28/01 Super Bowl XXXV summed up in two words (one hyphenated) One-sided, boring. What the hell? Anyway, football season is now officially over. No more sports until September when the next NFL season starts up. Good news is Cris Carter is returning with the Vikings for another season. Randy Moss is obligated for at least one more season with the Vikings, so he'll be back. I think if they actually build a defense, they will be kickin' that ass next season. No more football. On to the next topic. I'm going to title this next section 'Pornography, the Internet and you'. I actually did my own little study on this. I find it intriguing. Anyway, I wanted to see how fast I could find a picture of a naked woman for downloading using Yahoo, Lycos and Webcrawler. I'm talking an actual thumbnailed picture that takes you to a full screen shot of that picture. In the 'search' section, I typed the same thing in all three. I typed 'butt sex'. Yahoo found 71 matches and the sixth link I clicked on got me some booty pix. Nice classy looking women who also happen to be naked and rank quite high on the fuckability scale. With Lycos, '3,195,306 Web sites were found in a search of the complete Lycos Web catalog'. I found the pics on the ... well, I kinda gave up after 20 when my dick crawled into itself from sheer frustration. This one is still yet to be determined. Write me and let me know if you find out (save yourself some time and skip the first 20 links). Webcrawler. It took me 8 links to get a pic to download. But I found some, dammit. What's the point of all of this? Well, I'm glad I asked. My point is to prove just how easy it is to get some porn off of the internet. Adults might not be able to figure it out, but kids already know. That was the first thing they did when mom and dad went to bed after the internet connection was made. They know, trust me. Porn is the main reason the internet where it's at today. Without porn, we might still be at the e-mail stage. Porn helped launch a new technology that many businesses and people now rely on for day to day business. That shit cracks me up. Hurray for porn. Headlines 'Fucking saves the day' 'Connections thanks to sex' and 'Communicate with people around the world or look up smut'. Amazing. 01/21/01 I'm almost there. Another inch or two and I'll be there. The question is, Do I get a penis enlargement or do I remove a vertebrae from my lower back? Hmm. Decisions. E mail me any suggestions you have that will make this process as painless and pleasureable as possible. Thanks and god bless. 01/17/01 My favorite band in the whole world is incomplete once again. Jason Newsted has officially quit Metallica. I don't .... I just can't believe it. He was the mad man on stage. He was the one the other guys fed off of during live shows. That's all I feel like writing right now. 01/10/01 Today is one ten one (01/10/01 for all the idiots out there). I was going to write something, but I have to take a shit and it's late, so in the infamous words of that big Austrian mofo, 'Let's put another shrimp on the barbie" or did I mean "I'll be back". I can't remember. I always get Paul Hogan and Arnold mixed up. Which one of them is foreign to the US? ........ p.s. My site will be catering to users who are set to 1024 x 768 AGAIN because 800 x 600 is starting to piss me off. Plus, I can do what I want to this site so piss off!!! 01/09/01 What the fuck is going on in this country? I think we are going to have another civil war within the next 100 years. So much fucking hatred. It makes me sick to my stomach. How can people who practice a religion, look down upon anyone ... especially all of you who practice a Christian-based religion? That goes against everything that is the bible. I can't find anything in the bible that says 'Hate and look down on anyone who doesn't practice YOUR religion.' What the fuck is Christianity anyway? All forms are based on the bible unless you're Mormon and sorry if I offend someone here, but I think that book is a recap of someone's drug and alcohol halucination that put them back in Jesus times. Kinda like in Young Guns II where they're in the spirit world. Sure it's possible that the book of Mormon is 'authentic', but so is seeing a real life unicorn. As for all you Christians, what ever happened to God loving everybody equally? Love thy neighbor. Besides, religion is just a fancy term for 'corporation'. Think of Catholicism and Mormonism like Microsoft and Apple. Religion is a distorted interpretation of someone's opinion on what point the bible is trying to get across. Think about how many years it's been around and how many people have influenced the different interpretations in the many different languages it's been published? How true to form is our current version anyway? All I know is that God has to be disappointed with our evolution. He still loves us, but we're like that uncle that nobody wants to talk about. He's blood and you love him, but if you never see him again it wouldn't really make a difference in your life. Sadly, I think that's how God see's us. That's why there WILL be Armageddon. 01/08/01 My first week in this new year has been good so far. My Vikings are going to the NFC championship game for the second time in three years and playing against the NY Giants for the honor of representing the NFC in this years Super Bowl. This is good stuff. I just got back from Las Vegas tonight and I want to share my trip with all (both)of you. Our reason for going was for the annual CES (Consumer Electronic Show). Here it goes. Day 1: (Friday) We arrived in Vegas around 10am local time on Friday the 5th. The flight was delayed by a half an hour. No biggie. Anyway, we get to our hotel (Luxor) check in, throw our shit in our room and venture out for a bite to eat. By the time we actually started looking for food it was about 1pm. Enter the Luxor all you can eat lunch buffet. Yummy. After lunch, we cruise around the hotel and surrounding hotels. Why? Because that's what you do when you are in Vegas ... or so I was told. Anyway, day turns to night and we are in a hotel walking through the mall area and we almost hit two guys walking around a corner. My friend, Joe, and I were dumdfounded at the same time because we both realized at the same time who it was. For those of you who ever paid any attention to skateboarding over the past 15 years, you will recognize his name. The one and only Tony Hawk. By the time we figured it out and were able to speak he was gone and the opportunity to shake the hand of the man responsible for bringing skateboarding to the level it's at today was gone. Though an opportunity was blown, we were still stoked that we saw Tony Hawk. That made our night. Day 2: (Saturday) The first day of the
CES show. Although I really wanted to find a bar and watch my Vikings
play against the Saints, I didn't and went to the show. It was cool,
but very crowded. Over 100,000 people attended the CES show in Vegas
this year. It is THE biggest convention held in the United States annually
and it brings in over $150,000,000.00 to Vegas. The convention lasts
4 days. While at the show, I caught highlights of the game by watching
what I could at any booth that was airing it. At one point Joe went
off to look at the Canon booth and get info on his camera. I told him
I was going to look for a TV to catch the last of the game so I could
ACTUALLY enjoy the show and not think about the game. I found a TV at,
of all places, a Microsoft booth and a guy giving a presentation asked
me to sit down on the couch to get more comfy. Why? I still haven't
figured that one out yet, but it ended up being a crucial action that
lead up to ... well, I'm getting to that. Anyway, there was about 2:30
left on the clock and the Vikings had a sizeable lead. I looked out
to the walkway into the booth and saw somebody walk by that I recognized.
The Microsoft guy was in the middle of his schpeel (sound it out) or
however the fuck you spell it and I got up and went out to see. Yep.
It was. Weaving through the crowd, I noticed he stopped at some booth
to check out something. Now was my chance. I walked up behind him, tapped
him on the shoulder and said "Excuse me. Sorry to bug you, but I saw
you walking by and I blew the opportunity last night to meet when I
saw you at the Venitian. You had a serious influence on me as a kid
when I first started skating and your skating continues to amaze and
influence me." He said "Wow. That's really cool. What's your name?"
Can you believe I forgot to tell him my name. Why do we get so tonguetied
when talking to somebody famous? Famous people are, after all, just
people like us. Anyway, I said "Bryan." and he reached out his
hand and said "Bryan, it's a pleasure to meet you." and proceeded to
shake my hand. All I could say was "Thanks. It's good to meet you and
enjoy the rest of the CES show." and he said "Thanks and take care."
That was fricken cool even though I must've looked like an idiot. I
got to meet Tony Hawk. He was cool as hell. I had always heard that
he was stuck up, but not with me. Day 3: (Sunday) Back to the CES show. We we late because Joe and I decided to try to walk to the show from our hotel. For those of you who know Las Vegas, we walked from the Luxor (The Pyramid hotel) to the Hilton and Las Vegas Convention Center. It only took us 1 hour and 45 minutes of non-stop walking to get there. Figure 21 minutes per mile (very generous because we were walking pretty fast) and that comes out to 5 miles. My Tucson guesstimate is figure walking from the Tucson Mall to a point five miles from the Tucson Mall. You could always do the 2.5 mile point and go there and back. You get the fucking idea so Nutz, shut the fuck up already, alright? What possessed us to do it? Why'd the chicken cross the road? BECAUSE !!!! We finally got there and one of the first booths we were at was about to do a live broadcast, promoting satelite radio for your car. $10 a month gets you 30 channels of commercial free music hitting all spectrums of styles that you can listen to in your car. Not a bad idea. Anyway, I looked to see what they were going to broadcast and it turned out to be an interview with the one and only Pete Rose. I was standing a couple of feet away from one of baseball's greats. Pretty cool. As the interview was winding down, we went across the way to another booth that was promoting the same thing, different company. They were about to go on and were broadcasting a live acoustic set from The Smithereens who I didn't see sitting right there until they were about to start playing. So, I got a free concert .. or free couple of songs anyway. Out of all of the past CES shows, I've never seen as many 'celebrities' as I have at this show. I just couldn't believe it. And my 'sightings' weren't quite over yet. The free concert for the night just happened to be for one Godfather of Soul, Mr. James Brown. That old fart can still move and sing. Amazing. You can't understand one damn word he says when he's talking to the audience, but he's still one bad mofo. After the show, we stopped and played a few slots and I won $25. I had gambled $4 up to this point (Yea, big spender and fuck you for noticing) plus the $1 I put in the machine, so I ended up $20 in the plus. You see, this is a big deal because I've NEVER EVER come out ahead. Day 4: (Monday) Recap. Highlights; I met Tony Hawk and saw James Brown, The Smithereens, Teller, Pete Rose and Sinbad. The Vikings won, I came out $20 in the +, ate at In N Out Burger and Krispy Kreme donuts and I got to stay at the Luxor in the Pyramid section. Oh yea, our flight home arrived ON TIME. I like good weekends, especially when the weekend just happens to be part of my vacation. 01/01/01 Happy New Year to all of you!!!! |
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| "As
soon as I stick this hot poker in my ass, I'm going to chop my dick
off." |