This is supposedly the last Fiesta Bowl to be played in Sun Devil Stadium as next year's will be held in the new, state of the art Arizona Cardinal's Stadium. So, this is a special game ... and it was free. A little info before I tell my story. The Biltmore was designed by Frank Lloyd Wright. Click on the pics for 800x600 (larger) versions. On to the story ...

Our Trip to the Fiesta Bowl
by Bryan Snyder

We arrived at the Biltmore Arizona for a refreshing game of croquet. I had never played here before, but Scot said it was da bomb yo. Excited to be here and being a fan of Frank Lloyd Wright, I started taking pictures. I was trying to take a picture of the main entrance, but the fucker in the bumble bee shirt wouldn't move. He was a mime in practice (He mimed a business card, that's how I know he was a mime). Even though he had no face paint on and he wasn't wearing any gay, black French clothes, he was pretending to be talking on the phone. I hate mimes.

So I took other building pictures of the AZ Biltmore.

Then I found the statues. These statues were actual people pulled out of the ash in Pompei when Vesuvious erupted in 79 A.D. and shipped via FedEx to Phoenix. That or they were just statues ... I can't remember.

We went inside and took a picture of two guys that looked just like us at the end of the hall. It turns out that it was a mime dimension portal, so we got the hell out of there. I hate mimes.

After escaping the mime dimension portal unscathed, we went back outside to wait for our our croquet match to begin. We were 15 minutes past our start time, walking around and minding our own business. Then it happenned; outside at the Christmas tree some fuckers were stealing presents from under the tree. I hate thieves, so Scot and I kicked their asses. I didn't get any pictures of that, and that really sucks because I know we looked good doing it. It's too bad that mime wasn't stealing because he was asking for an ass-kickin' with his mime-antics. Regardless, we did end up getting a free rake out of the altercation. SWEET!

The hotel was so thankful that they let us join this party and eat and drink for free. There was a live band, too.. Did I mention that the food and drinks were free? We didn't know anyone, but they all knew us because we had just kicked so much ass.

Then, the hotel gave us free tickets to the game and provided us with our own chauffeurs. Scot rode in the first bus and I rode in the second one. Duh, I took the damn picture. The chauffeurs' names are unknown, but we called them Ponch and Not Ponch. They seemed to think it was funny because they took down our personal information and said they'd be seeing us again soon.

Just outside the stadium now. We found the official counter for the game's attendance (seen in plaid in the left picture). It turns out that all of the people in the second picture (right) were messing with him because this was the third time they had passed him by ... just to fuck up his count. The joke was on them because he was using the other two people's fingers and toes to keep count.

Finally, to our seats and our view. But the three guys on the 10 yard line (left picture) held up the start of the game because they said the 10 yard line was 1 yard off; it was actually the 11 yard line. A crew paced off the entire field using a red-assed poo-flinging monkey and a llama to determine the proper measurements. You can't see the monkey and llama in the second picture ... or any pictures because they are invisible.

Look at the split in the OSU fans and the ND fans (red and white vs. green and yellow). We were on the OSU side if you can't tell.

As a pre-game show, astronauts from the international space station jumped from the space station and sky-dived into the game. Apparently, they weren't really part of the show and only jumped because their toilet overflowed ... plus they needed to borrow a cup of sugar. The smoke is from when they entered the atmosphere. You can tell because it matches their uniforms.

Right before the National Anthem and my camera fucking up. I'll blame the camera even though it was probably user issues. Notice the people on the sideline are holding one big ass American flag. It was the size of the field. Or the field was the size of the flag. I wish I had a picture of it. It looked cool, really. But, you'll have to use your imagination and I'll have to use my memory. It always ends up bigger that way ...

About to do the coin toss. Yes, that is future hall of Famer Jerry Rice in the dark brown suit standing above the "T" of the Tostidos logo. Apparently he was a last minute add-in because Mike Tyson got bumped after publically admitted to liking the taste of ears over Tostidos corn chips.

OSU Band at Halftime. Last picture I was able to get. I missed the Notre Dame band, and they were much more impressive than the OSU band. Again, you'll have to use your imagination and I'll use my memory. Stupid camera (user).

Final score OSU 37 ND 20